


adventures in mundaneness

by wordsandwickedthings



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, and doesnt know how to handle things, cardan is awkward, it's going to get less fluffy as it progresses, so we'll see how this goes, there isnt really fluff in this fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:36:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsandwickedthings/pseuds/wordsandwickedthings
Summary: after an assassination attempt on Cardans life, Jude is paranoid to leave him alone anywhere. but with the court of shadows going out and unwilling to guard him while Jude goes to the human world, she is forced to take him with you. It's fine, though, they were just going out for a little bit, right?but no, nothing is ever mundane with Cardan around.





	1. adventures in mundaneness: ninja edition

Jude first realized how truly shackled to Cardan she was after the first assassination attempt against him. She knew it wasn’t Madoc who arranged it, his warriors' pride wouldn’t have let anyone but himself take Cardan’s life. But she wouldn’t put it past Balekin, an aristocrat to the bone it would be foolish of him – but Jude was starting to think he was desperate enough to be an idiot. 

But because of that attempt on his life, Jude was paranoid to leave Cardan alone for even a moment without her or any of the members of the court of shadows.  
Jude was supposed to be in the human world in an hours’ time, to visit oak and Vivienne, and the last thing she needed was worrying thoughts of Cardan bothering her the entire time. She couldn’t trust him to keep himself safe for an entire day. Her plan rests at the twisted king’s feet, and to Jude’s dismay, none of the shadows wanted to watch Carden while she went to the human world. 

“sorry, Queenie,” the roach told her, “we’re going out gambling and drinking.” 

“but he loves to gamble and drink, it’s all he does!” 

“he is also the high king, and with that title comes attention we don’t want.” 

She huffed, turning a blade in her hand as she thought, “we could shackle him somewhere safe.” 

Roach chuckled, “he’d be defenseless, gutted if anyone found him without one of us,” he paused for a moment, “with or without chains.” 

She frowns, “no one could find the court of shadows.” 

“the question is, are you willing to risk it?” ghost asks her.

The bomb was the only one who looked sort of sympathetic, “sorry.” 

She had to drag herself to Cardans room after that, finding a way to force down her pride while she walked too slowly. She stood at the threshold of his’s room, watching him lazily pour wine into his mouth. He was making a habit of dressing down, wearing only a white loose shirt and black pants if he wasn’t being forced to attend something; his tail out in the open, swinging idly. 

“You’re coming with me to the human world,” she couldn’t believe she was doing this. 

“Excuse me?” he wasn’t looking at her, staring up at the ceiling in what Jude could only call boredom. Two words in and she already wanted to punch him. 

“the others are going out, and I need to be in the human world in,” she searched for the time, sighing, “thirty minutes.” 

Cardan sat up, “and this concerns me because?” his cheeks were rosy, and his lips were stained red. He was drunk already – great. 

Jude leaned against the doorframe, “because there’s no one here to protect you while I’m gone, so therefore, you’re coming with me.” She tried to say it with authority, but by the way Cardan was smirking, it apparently wasn’t convincing. 

“No one to protect me or babysit me.” 

“pick one,” Jude smiled, all teeth and incredibly fake.

He sneered at her, “Do I look like a child?” 

“you act like one.” 

He bared out a fake laugh, and Jude had to force herself not to literally growl at him, “I could command you to fallow me.” 

It was a thin threat, and Jude knew that; she hadn’t commanded Cardan to do anything unless absolutely necessary since forcing the crown on his head. And since she wasn’t going to force things on him, she had to resort to petty arguing and veiled threats. 

Cardan watched her for a moment, his gaze making Jude’s skin crawl in a way she hated. “Do it then, have your fun. But there is no way I’m going to that wretched hole without being dragged.”   
\--  
Cardan had sobered up by the time they got to the other world, Vivian waiting patiently with Oak sitting at her feet, Heather absent to Jude’s luck. Cardan was being even more annoying and difficult than his drunk counterpart. 

“why is everything so loud!” he had his hands pressed against his ears, the taxi driver giving him a bored look. 

“we’re stuck in traffic,” Vivienne looked just as bored, “they’re honking cause their assholes. Like someone else, I can think of.” 

Cardan looked over to the front seat to glare at Vivian, someone who was about as pleased that he was here as Cardan himself. “Well they should stop,” he sneered, “why don’t you just make them stop?” 

she laughed, “a little out of my mutant power range, princey.” 

Cardan smirked when Oak started clapping, chanting, “glamour, glamour, glamour.” Blowing at his brown curls that were pushed into his eyes from the beanie he was wearing.   
Jude sighed, flicking Cardan in his pointy ear, which he had refused to hide. “You’re enabling him.” 

Oak seemed to like Cardan, a fact that drove Jude into insanity. Since they got here Oak had been following Cardan around, mimicking the way he walked and the way he glared at everyone who past him – even though his glares ended in giggling. It doesn’t surprise Jude that Oak was enamored with Cardan; he had a charm to him that, despite his blatant cruelty, drew people to him. Even without the crown on his head, he moved like a king. She hated it and hated him even more because of it. 

They had made it clear to Oak that he was going to be king, it shouldn’t surprise her that he would look to one for how to act. It’s a shame it had to be Cardan though.   
They had decided to go to the mall to stock up on items for Oak, and Jude. Then if they were lucky maybe get food before Cardan does something that irritated Jude so much she might have to abandon him on the side of the road. 

When they got out of the cab and Vivienne made the driver leave without them paying, Cardan let out a laugh, locking eyes with Jude. 

All of Cardan's smugness dissipated when they got into the entrance, completely replaced by confusion. Every in the building was foreign to him, from the rhythmic beeping of people checking out, to the fact that everyone was dressed in what our world would consider underwear. 

People were staring at Cardan as much as he was staring at them. He had put on a jacket before they left, a blue velvety thing with gold running through it like vines; that along with this pointed ears and sharp cheekbones made it impossible not to look at him. Like all fairies, Cardan was beautiful and demanded everyone’s eyes. 

Jude didn’t like the feeling in her stomach that came when a group of girls giggled when Cardan smirked at them. 

“cool costume, man,” some man said as he walked past them, patting Cardan on the shoulder before walking away. 

Cardan eyes shifted, and Jude saw the sudden rage in them. He didn’t lung at the man though, didn’t tare away at him like he did the fairies wings. Instead, he scowled for a moment and schooled his features like he was so used to. 

Jude was already by his side by the time, ready to stop him if he did anything stupid. Oh, Cardan had a habit of doing something stupid. Grabbing a fistful of his sleeve, Jude got close, so she could whisper in his ear, “don’t make a scene.” 

He smirked, “but that’s all I’m good at.” 

Jude rolled her eyes, tempted to ignore him. 

His features shifted, “a commoner shouldn’t touch a king.” 

“you’re not a king here,” Jude reminded him, “you’re barely a king in our world.” 

Vivienne coughed, dragging the two’s attention to her, where she was stood with her hands on her hips and her eyebrow raised. “I need to grab Heather from work, you’ll watch Oak right?” she doesn’t look like she wants to leave, maybe it’s because she’s aware that Cardan is unpredictable no matter what, maybe she thought the same thing about Jude.   
Jude shook that out of her head, she trusted her sister – all that kept her sane is Vivian’s understanding. 

Oak gave a nod before reaching his hand out to Cardan, waiting patiently while his uncle stared at it like it was poisonous. Jude watched the awkward exchange for a second before taking Cardan’s wrist – no longer fearing whatever anger he would hold over it – and moving it so Oak could wrap his small hand around it and pull the elder forward.   
They went to the toy section naturally, Oak running directly to a set of toys underneath a poster of four reptiles with swords and nunchucks. It was his latest obsession according to Vivian, to the point he wanted to take martial arts in the next year – to the delight of the roach. 

Oak held up a figuring, “this is Raphael, he’s the best one; he has swords and is big and strong and – and he can be mean sometimes, but he loves his family.” He held up the toy to his older sister, “you can be Raphael.”

Jude swallowed, trying to remain neutral as her heart swelled when taking the toy from her brother, “thank you.”

Cardan was standing off to the side as Oak showed Jude his favorite turtle, not looking board really, more extremely uncomfortable. The look got worse when Oak picked up another turtle figure and held it out to him like it was something precious, “you can be Michelangelo, he’s funny and lazy and loves pizza.” 

The older boy stared shocked at the small child in front of him. 

Jude was staring too, “Cardan is funny?” 

He looked up, glaring at her, but took the toy – curling it around his fingers like it was just as precious as Oak had made it seem.

“which one should Vivi be?” the little boy goes back to the toys. 

“are we getting all of these?” Jude asked, moving towards Cardan, seeing the look on oaks face confirmed that statement. 

“it’s sad,” she says in a low voice, next to his ear, “that your nephew handing you a doll gives you the same look of panic as me pointing a crossbow at you.” 

He scowled, “It’s probably covered in human germs.” 

“that’s the best comeback you got, you must be flustered.” 

Oak yelled over to them, “Vivi could be Donatello… that doesn’t really fit, I think.”

She turned around to see oak on the floor with toys laid out in front of him, his face twisted in deep contemplation.

“how about we get these turtles and go get food while we wait for Vivienne?” 

she watched Oak scoop up the two remaining ninjas. “can I get some nun chucks too?” 

Jude sighed, pretending to contemplate, “yes, you can.” Oak laughed, running towards the cash register. The smile wiped off her face when she remembered a crucial detail.  
Cardan was going to fallow him before Jude tugged at his jacket sleeve, looking between him and the checkout counter. “I may need something from you.”


	2. adventures in mundaneness: panda express edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Cardan take Oak to get Panda express, and meet up with Vivienne and heather.   
> Jude can't help but feel like they're being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time, but here is chapter 2! I'm sorry this took so long to exist, life has been kicking my ass lately, but I'm sorta on a writing streak so we'll see how long that lasts.   
> this was started before the second book came out so I'm going to stick to my original outline of this, where Balekin isn't in prison. I may give subtle hints to the second book though, or acknowledge the fact Jude is Cardan's advisor because it makes sense.
> 
> hope you enjoy! :)

If the toy store was noticeably anxiety-inducing for Cardan, the food court was a whole different level. People shuffled passed the long lines at each fast food station, everyone speaking loudly and obnoxiously. 

Jude could feel the heat of Cardan shuffling closer to her, clearly feeling overwhelmed by the chaos surrounding them. 

“what sounds good to eat, Oak?” 

The young boy was unphased by the ruckus, running towards the other end of the court, toward a red sign, “Panda!” 

Cardan furrows his brows, “what’s a panda?” 

Jude thought for a moment while walking steadily towards where Oak was jumping up and down, “its like a black and white bear,” she said, stopping, “But were noting eating the bear! It's like noodles and meat and … stuff.” 

He didn’t look like he got it, scrunching his nose, but fallowing Jude into the crowds – moving towards the circled sign with a cute cartoon bear on it. Jude looked back, seeing Cardan being swallowed by the fast-paced crowds, his usual carefree face contorted in a look of emotional dread. She giggled against her will, trying to hold back the enjoyment that came watching the king stunned like a deer in headlights. 

“what’s wrong, Cardan? You’re usually so good about making crowds scatter.” Jude smiled, a sickly wicked smile she was learning to master while playing puppeteer of the king of a cruel world. 

He glowered at her, something that before their deal would have uneased her stomach – but now, now she just let her smile grow when someone slammed their shoulder into Cardan’s, completely unfazed by his presence. 

Finally, she took pity on him walking in front of where he was planted and grabbing his wrist, pulling him forward through the waves of people, “c’mon, its easy, you just got to serpentine,” she twisted her body to fit between the gaps of people, “it also doesn’t hurt to say excuse me, though, I know courtesy is a foreign language to you.” 

Jude felt Cardan’s wrist shift, so he could grab her hand, pulling her closer so he could whisper in her ear, “you say that as if you’re fluent.” 

She turned back, startled by how actually close he was – she glared, dragging him to where Oak was. The human behind the counter was smiling at how Oak was jumping up and down manically. The young kid had already picked out what he wanted – teriyaki chicken and chow main – Jude came up to stand behind him, Cardan still gripping her hand behind her. 

“what do you want, Jude?” Oak looked up at her. 

“that’s a good question,” Jude said, “what do you think Cardan would like?” 

The little boy perked up, putting his hands on the glass and swinging his head back and forth from the king and the enclosed food, “he wants kung pao chicken and fried rice.” 

Jude looked up at him, raising one of her eyebrows; he shrugged, “I recognized the words chicken and rice.”

The women behind the counter looked up at Jude, “and what do you want, dear?”

She shrugged, resting her hand on the top of Oaks head, “I’ll just have what he’s having.” she ruffled his hair, “I trust him.” 

The cashier chuckled as she typed up the order, “okay,” she said, “that’s going to be $15.30.” 

Cardan stretched his finger, looking the worker in the eye before saying, “we’ve already paid.” 

The cashier twitched, her fingers freezing above the register, “oh,” she looked blankly for a moment before smiling widely, “of course you did.” 

Jude swerved her head back and forth, thanking whatever god was above her that no one was around to see Cardan do that. 

When they were finally sat down is when Jude saw Vivienne’s gold eyes peering through the sparse crowd they were in, until her eyes fell on her sister. Heather was next to her, smiling when she saw Jude and the boys – she looked more carefree than Vivienne, walking to us with soft eyes and bright smile, whereas the half-faerie lagged by her side, completely aware of who she was walking towards. 

Jude leaned to whisper in Cardan’s ear, “behave.” 

The king smirked, “is that an order?” 

She suppressed the groan that was rising in her throat, she didn’t know how to explain to him that not everything she asked of him was an order. 

“hi, guys,” Vivi’s smile looked genuine, her hand locked with heathers as they sat down, “Heather, you’ve already met Jude, and this is Cardan.” 

Heather smiled brightly, “are you Jude’s boyfriend?” 

Jude coughed on the bite of food she had just taken, shaking her head violently while everyone stared at her in confusion. “No!” just said quickly, “No, no, he’s just a… friend of the family.” 

“Oh,” Heather said, clearly still skeptical, “anyways, uh, how have you been Jude?”

She was constantly petrified of someone assassinating her puppet king, she had to run an entire kingdom by herself, and had only a year to figure out how to keep Cardan on the throne. “I’ve been doing fine.” She forced herself to smile, “how has it been having Vivienne and Oak with you?” 

“it’s been really good actually,” she shrugged, “Oaks been adjusting to school really well.” 

“it’s been great,” Vivienne buts in, “but I really need food!” 

Oak perked up, “Vivi, did you know Cardan had never had Panda Express before?” he was smiling in a way that melted a part of Jude’s heart. 

Vivienne looked between the two boys, a knowing smile on her lips, “really? How is that possible?” 

Cardan smirked up at her, “I don’t know, I don’t think they had one where I grew up.” 

“did you grow up in a small town?” Heather said.

“I guess,” Cardan told her, “not sure really.” 

The human stared at him blankly; Vivienne took the opportunity to scoop up her hand again, and motion towards Oak, “would you like to escort us to the counter, Oak?” 

He laughed, “it would be my honor,” his big eyes scanned over the table, “do you want more food, Cardan?” 

Jude watched Cardan’s ears perk at the notion of more food. He smoothed his features though, “sure.” 

The three of them left Jude and Cardan at the table, Oak walking with his shoulders back and his head high – the way Cardan does in Elfhame. 

“he likes you,” Jude says to the king next to him. 

He shakes his head, “I have no idea why. The child has been mimicking what I do all day.” 

Jude wanted to laugh at the man beside her, “he knows he’s going to be king, so he’s looking to you to see how to act.”

“I’m not a king, I’m a puppet dangling from your pretty little fingers.”

Jude flexed her fingers, “I don’t think they're that pretty.” 

Cardan stayed silent for a moment. “he shouldn’t look to me to know what a king does.” 

“whys that?”

A laugh bubbled from the faerie’s chest, “because I’m a horrible king!”

“why don’t you try and be a good one.” Jude leaned her elbows against the table, feeling more exhausted by this conversation than the times she’d stay up till midday trying to run the kingdom. 

“I never wanted to be a king, that was always my brothers wish. Don’t get me wrong, he’d probably be worse than me, but at least he wants it.” 

“and what do you want Cardan?” Jude asked.

“right now? more panda.” 

Jude held back a smile that was trying to force its way onto her face, “why can’t you ever be honest?”

Cardan smirked again – one day Jude was going to punch that smirk. “I’m always honest, it’s a curse really.” 

“evading the question isn’t honesty.” 

“but it’s the only thing I have to keep up with you.” 

Jude didn’t have a witty retort to that one. It was true, the only thing Jude had over the Faerie was her ability to lie to them – but it also means Cardan would second guess everything Jude has ever said. She didn’t know how she felt about that fact; it made her powerful truly – the thing that she had perceived as a weakness her whole life was becoming a strength in the game of politics.

She was trying to think of something clever and detached to say when a feeling of dread washed over her. Her body tensed in an instant, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. 

Jude knew the feeling though, it was becoming more and more common the more enemies she made – it was the feeling of being watched. 

She was being paranoid – the assassination attempt on Cardan was getting to her head. 

She was spending to much time around spies. 

The brown-haired girl pushed that thought to the back of her head as Oak came running back to the table with more food, proudly placing some sweat and sour chicken with rice and an egg roll in front of the king. 

The child smiled, “you’ll like this, I promise.” 

Cardan smiled back at him, nodding his head, and as far as Jude could tell it was genuine. 

She tried to quell all the anxiety that was resting in the hallows of her bones when her sister turned to her, “Heather and I were thinking about going to some stores to get Oak some more clothes, that okay with you guys?” 

The faerie king didn’t look up from the food he was shoveling into his mouth, and Jude took that as it was her decision, “whatever you guys want.” 

The group finished their food quickly, making light conversation about what was happening in their lives, something that was difficult with Cardan’s inability to lie. 

They decided to go to JC penny’s first because it was the closest to them. When Vivienne and heather got far enough away – being dragged by Oak who saw a video game store – Jude got close enough to Cardan that their shoulders bumped. 

“are you ready to enter into the vast world of department stores?” 

Cardan stared blankly ahead of him, “….yes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: writing this made me want Chinese food real bad. just not panda express.


End file.
